Dave Grohl- such a role model of goodness and gentlemanliness. Did you hear what he did in Sweden, singing with a broken leg, so his fans wouldn’t be disappointed? What a truly good man- how much he cares what his fans think of him! How important it is for him for his fans to be happy! So punctual- never keeps his fans waiting either! And cheerful! Cheery, punctual, smiling, friendly- just the kind of qualities you like to see in a rock star. He’s been a bit sad, since his best friend died- committed suicide actually in a bathtub- but he powered through it and it’s all been go go go. Delighting the fans, and carving a name for himself as a true rock star. No bloody conspiracy suicide for him!
You could take Dave to dinner at your parents’, and you would all laugh uproariously at his anecdotes from back in the day, which he would tell in that kind of hilarious light which that makes him look good while everyone else really dumb, crazy and fucked up. Which they were.
Dave doesn’t snarl and howl at his fans. He doesn’t throw a microphone and break their teeth just because. He won’t even let himself get fat- see Dave is so trim and fit and healthy- and his hair is nice, not messy or grungy or cornrow-y or generally just awful and out of bounds and omg look at that rock star hair. Nobody could ever accuse Dave of having rock star hair! He doesn’t carry on vengeful vindictive feuds with his former bandmates with whom he first achieved glory- he doesn’t need to, since the most important one died anyway, while Dave is alive and well, enjoying and licking up every minute of life with his wonderful fans and his wonderful mates and his wonderful self.