COCKROACHES, JENNIFER LOPEZ AND I

Just a few days ago, Gentle Reader, I made a presentation at my department. A friend took photos to send to my parents, who like to hear about my scholarly life, as parents do. And my mother, in an ecstasy of parental pride, wrote back that I look like an “academic J-Lo”. Indeed, she has been heard to make the comparison between Ms. Lopez and yours truly on more than a few occasions.

For you to observe the justice of this comparison, I present Exhibit A: a cropped image of my profile, from the presentation:
nose

And here is exhibit B, Ms. Lopez:

jlo-jennifer-lopez-24323625-400-600 (1)

Compare the schnozz, Gentle Reader, compare the schnozz. Don’t get me wrong, I have healthy self-esteem about my aquiline Persian nose, but you can see that my nose can eat Ms. Lopez’s nose for breakfast, and be starving by noon.

But I am not laughing at my mother’s delusions of her child’s beauty- rather, I use this little anecdote to illustrate this beautiful vivid Farsi saying: The baby cockroach scurries up the wall, his mother says oh! those crystal arms and legs!

Or, what has been rendered more succinctly in English: Love is blind.

In this same vein, I have heard mothers cry out that their daughter resembles a “Russian mannequin”, doting aunts shriek their niece is “Venus walking before for us”, cousins reminding each other of “Ricky Martin”. Nor is this sweet delusion confined to the elderly- the Princess has been heard to observe that her uncle reminds her of Jarvis Cocker, that is, this dude:

Photo of Jarvis COCKER and PULP

Only later, upon viewing Wolverine, she changed her mind and exclaimed that he looks like this dude:

hughjackman

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