YO MOMMA SMACKDOWN

No matter how much the good and genteel authorities of the Golden Boy’s educational system attempt to introduce him to beautiful authentic real traditional culture, good culture, history culture, ancient culture, Gaelic, Gaelic songs, heritage, ancestry, Nova Scotia culture, world culture, Canadian culture, community and growing together culture, the more my son and his friends insist in wallowing in bad dirty popular culture, ugly culture, funny hilarious culture, stupid bizarre ridiculous culture.

The latest concrete demonstration of these two parallel yet opposite cultural trends took place on Nocturne night- here I will spare the Gentle Reader my rant about small cities pretending to be big, and Art- and instead, describe for you an extremely bizarre scene: in the front stage a collection of adults and children singing soft unintelligible Gaelic songs and miming an ancient communal Gaelic ritual- a feat which they have practised for this night since school started. And two rows back, we have the Golden boy engaged in an equally random cultural practice of “Yo Momma Smackdown”, where they compete to insult each other’s mothers in the most horrible fashion, while giggling hysterically. The Golden Boy’s whisper carries clearly through the auditorium: Yo momma’s so ugly, when she sits in front of the computer, it shuts down. This is not funny, but the three little boys shriek-whisper with laughter. I exchange a horrified glance with another mother and we try to shush them. “Yo momma’s so ugly…” The refrain of the Gaelic song wafts overhead, and thank Sofa, it is the Golden Boy’s turn to go to the front and sing.

Education, education, one of the greatest puzzles befuddling humankind. The determination of the childhood spirit to be completely impervious to what is being taught is good and right, non stop, every day, over and over again, and to do something completely the opposite, boggles the mind.

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