HOW TO WHITEN YOUR TEETH, ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET

Buy a mouthwash which has whitening agents. Use it according to instructions. Do not use bleach or any other household cleaning products you think might whiten your teeth.

RECIPE FOR CHICKEN AND RICE DISH
Buy a cooked rotisserie chicken. Cut some of the meat into bitesize pieces. Cook the rice according to the instructions. Mix it with the chicken. Use salt and pepper and any other spices you like.

COMMENTARY ON RODGER ELLIOT
We all agree what he did was awful. Maybe guns. Maybe mental issues. Maybe women-hate. In any case, it was really bad, and let’s all hope it doesn’t happen again.

COMMENTARY ON IGGY AZALEA
Iggy Azalea is white, blonde, from Australia, and makes chart-topping rap music. She’s white and she raps. Other than that, we are not sure what to do about it.

HOW TO APPLY RED LIPSTICK PERFECTLY
There are many many different shades of red lipstick. Try some and see which one you like best. Buy it. While looking closely in the mirror and concentrating, apply the lipstick as evenly as possible to your lips. Try not to got outside your natural lip line. You can use a lip brush for a more accurate shape. After that is done, if you feel there is too much lipstick on your lips, use a tissue paper to blot your lips. Try not to smudge. Smudged lips are not a good look.

HOW TO REMAIN HYDRATED THROUGHOUT YOUR BUSY DAY
Buy a water bottle. Keep it full. Whenever you are thirsty, have some.

HOW TO HAVE MOISTURIZED SKIN
Use a moisturizer regularly.

HOW TO PROECT YOURSELF AGAINST THE SUN
Use a sunscreen. Don’t go out in the sun too much.

One comment

  1. Thanks god that Robert Smith of The Cure didn’t gave a damn on any advises how to properly apply red lipstick.
    Michael

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