LIFE IMITATES BLOG

So, rumour has it that the demure Mr. Hetfield has become estranged from his beauteous Francesca, and the lovely young couple are teetering on divorce. Apparently because James has been spotted walking by himself. Such are the shackles of modern couplehood: if you so much as venture out without your S.O. (sounds like a peculiarly infectious variant of B.O.) you are deemed to have failed.
Nothing like blogging about celebrities draws in viewers to your blog- a fact both amusing and depressing. And in particular celebrity relationships. Oh God, the passion and curiosity which flares in our hearts about celebrity relationships! How to explain it? I took in the steady stream of insults hurled at my blog as a result of my random musings on Mrs Hetfield’s embarrassment with her husband as a scant compensation for the sharp spike in my viewing statistics, together with a useful reminder, should any be needed ever, on the mentality of most blog readers.
But earlier this week, I felt acute discomfort when I realised people by the thousands are searching for information on Mr Hetfield’s matrimonial state, and subsequently stumbling across my blog post. What the hell is wrong with people, I wondered.

I entertained myself with the notion that life is imitating blog- could it be, I joked to myself, that my initial popular commentary on Mr and Mrs Hetfield’s relationship has somehow contributed to this contretemps? Money, squabbles over housework, and a new love interest are well-known causes of couples falling apart, but in the known absence of these factors in this case, let consider a fourth: the constant commentary of others. “Really?” James would scream “You let the whole world know that you were embarrassed by ME?” and he would smash his guitar and his hair would catch fire, both common methods of anger management by rock stars. “Sad but true” Francesca would reply…

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