Tonight will be a first for me, Gentle Reader, and I cannot say I am not excited.
I am going out by myself, by myself, to watch a live music show at the Seahorse Tavern.
The Seahorse Tavern.
Can girls go out to restaurants and bar and places alone, like the menz do? This is a question which has haunted me as I sat through a series of -well, not unpleasant exactly, but tedious? unnecessary? why-do-I-have-to-speak-to-these-people? evenings and events over the past couple of years, where I was only with other people for the sake of not being by myself, not because I had any true sense of friendship or camaraderie with my companions. I remember at one of these evenings, I was at Casino Nova Scotia watching a live music act, and my companion was texting or tweeting. I looked around, and saw a young lady sitting by herself, a young lady in glasses and long flowery skirt. I almost screamed with relief- “Look! women can go out by themselves too!” My companion shrugged, “I don’t see why not, if you’re comfortable with it.”
I look at the younger generation of bright spunky females, who seem to have no problem hitting bars and cafes and concerts by themselves. Is my mental inhibition against going out by myself merely a generational thing? I remember the last time I went to see this particular band, my companion got drunk, tried to punch someone, and we had to run away. How could I be less safe if I had been by myself?
On that note, and as brainwashed as we are by Stranger Danger, which is after all the main reason why we seek companions to Go Out with in first place, it is fairly well-established that we are more at risk of harm and danger from people we know, rather than strangers. My own experience bears this out. The people closest to me have made me weep, have made me bleed, have made me tremble with misery and hate and rage. Strangers have been polite, courteous, helpful, friendly, complimentary. I honestly can say that I have been fortunate enough never to have a really bad experience with strangers – with loved ones? Not so much.
All these horrible, horrible things which happen to women, constantly, all the time, everywhere. Many of them, if not most of them, are committed by people they knew- their classmates, their friend’s dad, their doctor, their lovers. On the general scale of things, and barring freak accidents, I cannot see that any harm can come to me from the random strangers who will be at the Seahorse Tavern tonight. We will be united by our love of classic rock music. If someone talks unnecessarily to me, I can simply get up and move away. I could not do that with a “friend”, I would have to listen with a tight polite smile.
So, until a time when I can actually find friends and companions who enjoy the same music as I do, and whose company is mutually agreeable, I have decided to go it my way. Alone.
Having said that, you know where to send the police if you don’t hear from me 🙂