The Gentle Reader may have come across the e-mail by Julia, the University of Maryland sorority girl to her fellow “sisters” , which has gone viral on the internet. Gentle Reader, if you haven’t, I urge you to do so immediately, as it is, to use the now immortalized Julia’s terminology, “fucking hilarious”, but more than that, it offers pure, energizing, authentic entertainment, the likes of which are hard to come by in these saccharine days full of cat banality.
Basically, Julia is chastising her sisters for not participating fully and properly in the events she has organized for their student society. Now I can see exactly where Julia’s rage and anger is coming come, trivial as it may seem, since I have also joined a student society (not a “sorority”, but whatevs), and I have also come to realise, like Julia, that there is only one thing which characterizes the student body at large: apathy. Until you “LITERALLY FUCKING” scream at them, they will not do anything, they will not show up where they are supposed to, or they will show up late and then not do what they were told to do, or they will lose the way, and text five days later, or not at all. In fact, the president of my society had sent out an e-mail EXACTLY LIKE Julia’s out only last week, basically screaming at the student reps to just FUCKING SHOW UP and do what they had signed up for. Only this being Canada, she did not say “FUCKING” like Julia, instead, using pompous phrases like “The Board is exceedingly disappointed at the low student turn out and would like to remind you that funding for these activities is contingent on the budget blah blah blah”. Personally, I prefer Julia’s, because even I fell asleep half-way through reading our president’s disappointed missive. Whereas Julia’s e-mail was such fun to read that I actually went back the next day and reread it just to smirk and snicker a bit.
I am not actually critiquing student politics here -my point is that even though I personally do not know anybody as crazy as Julia, (I think), and indeed, if I ever come across anybody displaying a tenth of her mad rage irl, I will give them such a wide berth that it will be as if I have put on an invisibility cloak, yet these people are immensely fun to read about. As Milton found out when creating the character of Satan. Sane people=boring, people insane with rage over trivial things like Julia=fun. To read about, not to be with. The distinction is important, Gentle Reader. I would be happy to read a Julia e-mail everyday, I would not be so happy to actually know her or exchange two words with her.