The Golden Boy is sitting on the couch, swinging his goldy-brown legs. Staring into space, he bellows out, for no apparent reason “Lucy! LOOOO-sie! LUCY!”

I know who Lucy is-she is a pretty pale little blonde girl who sits next to him in class. She was placed there recently, after the teacher split him and “Mary Jane” up for talking too much during class. I ask him “Are you friends with Lucy now?”

He gives me a contemptuous look: “No! Of course not!”

“Why not?”

“I don’t make friends with a silly gurrl! I’m just obsessed with her!”

Girls: too silly to make friends with, but pretty enough to obsess over. The major theme of English literature for the past five hundred years. Now playing in a primary school near you.


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