JAGGER THE REAL

“…shoot for the stars….”

As the brittle, bossy tones of Adam Levine rang out for what felt like the fiftieth time that day, I turned to the princess, who was watching his indefinably evil face with rapt attention while teetering in a pair of skyscraper heels (mine).

-Princess, if you like this song, why don’t you listen to a real Mick Jagger song?

-Whaddaya mean?

-You know, a real Jagger song- not this.

-What’s a real Jagger song?

-You know what this guy is singing about? About Mick Jagger- a real rock star. You should listen to his songs. (actually, the Evil One is not singing about Mick Jagger, he’s singing about Look At My  Wonderful Self and Look At Sad You, How Much Better It Is to Be Me, How Awful To Be You, but nevermind)

-Oh- there’s actually a singer called Mick Jagger? Isn’t this him?

A shudder of surprise runs through me, as always when the princess displays this abysmal ignorances of edifices of Western culture. They don’t teach them anything about Jesus, Christianity, rock music, Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson, the Renaissance, the British Empire… How do they suppose these immigrant children are going to fit in these societies when they grow up? What’s going to happen to them?

I click away from The Evil One, and bring up “Gimme Shelter”, 1995, live in Amsterdam.

-“Look. This is Mick Jagger. And this is one the best and most famous songs ever”

-“Oh My God he is so handsome!!!” screams the princess. “Is he still alive?- Oh- I think I’ve heard this song before”… The camera zooms on the gorgeous back-up singers… “Perhaps I should be a back-up singer? They are sooo goood!”

But no. She cannot understand what Jagger is actually singing, and she can’t dance to his music. So, after a few more seconds of rapt attention, she clicks back to The Evil One, and starts again, moving like Jagger.

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