I should have known better than to negotiate with a five-year old, even if he is turning six tomorrow.
I don’t know why I thought I could get away with it, after all, it’s not as if I was lacking experience in failed attempts to get out of having birthday parties.
But, but, the Golden boy hates having guests! He is frustrated on playdates, continuously asking to go back to playing Sonic the Hedgehog! His ideal birthday would be to be, or be with Sonic! And indeed, it first seemed that he consented to my plan: “Golden Boy, let’s not have big party full of people running around and screaming, instead, I will take you to Walmart where you can choose TWO big lego sets, and we will have pepperoni pizza and coke for lunch!”
I swear he was happy with the arrangement. He even described it in detail to his soccer coach who made the mistake of asking him. And the first part of the plan went well: the shopping and the pizza was entirely joy-making. But as the Sunday dragged on, and the princess and I became more and more obsessed with making the new lego models, a mood of discontent set in. Dangerous questions were asked about his friends, reference was made to bloody “John”‘s birthday which had taken place only two days before in a fancy “Indoor playground” ($280, I kid you not, just for the space).
In a totally unwise, indeed, absolutely mad attempt to convince the Golden Boy that he has “had” his birthday, I baked a cake (baked a cake!) using a cheap cake mixture and icing from superstore, put candles on it and sang “Happy Birthday” for him with the Princess. Big mistake. The Golden Boy declared he didn’t like the “bread”, just the icing, went back to his lego, and then stated this was the worst birthday ever.
-“Why can’t I invite my friends?” he asked. I hugged his small squishy body to my heart. I told him why. He listened seriously and silently. Then he smiled. And went to sleep. Best birthday present. Ever.