Bloggers have several tricks and tips handy for when the blogging muse is coy and will not visit for days on end… When she arrives, she sets the blogger on fire, frantic to find a quiet space and an internet connection to blog out, but when she is absent, when she hides and will not be conjured, ahh, what is the poor blogger supposed to do then, faced with falling stats and and a nagging sense that five days have gone by without a post?
Tip #1:When I wake up in the morning, I ask myself, who do I hate today?
Words of wisdom from an old pro blogger- and usually it is infallible. With so many, but so many dumbasses and jerkoffs, horrible things happening and stupid things being said, it is but too easy to find something which really, really gets on your nerves and blog on.
But sometimes you lack that kind of mental energy. When rain has been falling for days on end, when the people the blogger needs to sharpen the wit on are absent and others are dull and ordinary and everything is normal and halifax and so on, wht do you do then?
Tip #2: Write up a recipe.
Yes, I have been guilty of doing this many, many times. In fact, one of my most visited posts is about the dishes I prepared for a dinner party last year. My guilt is somewhat alleviated by the fact that I actually enjoy coooking and preparing and messing around with recipes, still, there is no getting round it: food posts and food blogs are inherently rather lame.
Tip #3- Write up a dream.
I’ve done this one too, but once. Still, I’ve noticed many seasoned bloggers sneak in a post every now and then about some dream they had last night, which is not as weird and not as interesting as they hope it is, and in fact is not very different from actually talking about your dreams at work- a big no no.
Tip #3. Lists
Top ten favourite / least favourite books. Films. Songs. Actresses. Whatever. This is a pretty well-established conceit, the central premise of whole novels, films and websites (cf. Nick Hornby, or cracked.com). Still, when you find a blogger writing up lists, you can be sure of one thing.
The muse has gone away, again.