I know

I have seen you looking at “John”

And I see you have a crush on him

(a huge one)

And I have seen your boyfriend “Adam” look at “John”

with hatred and venom in his small black eyes

So he probably knows too

I cannot blame you

“Adam” is fat and has a unibrow

(even though he is a working engineer

(and owns his own new car

(   (always a decisive factor where girls are concerned)

(still, fat and unibrow…

But “John” is slim and has strawberry blond hair

And dresses like hippie

(“Adam” dresses like your dad)

“John” is funny, “Adam” is not

And you feel you deserve more than “Adam”

(who is fat and has a unibrow, albeit a very good salary and a car)

I have seen you blank him out

While laughing at “John’s” jokes

You do not sit next to “Adam”, your boyfriend

When “hanging out”- at bars and parties

You feel you deserve so much more than fat and unibrow

You deserve a slim blond funny hippie, poor Clara, you who are not so fat, and have nice skin and hair

You keep “Adam”, because, after all,

a fat salaried boyfriend is better than no boyfriend  (everyone knows that)

But you lust for “John”

(Who, by the way, is living with his girlfriend, “Mary”, for five years)

What does he see in “Mary”, you wonder?

You spend all your leisure times together, on weekends,

two young white middle-class educated couples, happy and laughing

You eat and drink and party and plan vacations together

While you look at “John”

And “Adam” looks at “John”

And “Mary” drinks more and more red wine

And complains how tired she is

And wonders why you don’t go home

You ignore “Mary”, your good “girlfriend”

(since, after all, you have a massive crush on her boyfriend, and cannot bear to look at her)

You cannot believe why “Mary” has “John” as a boyfriend

While you have “Adam”, he of the ample girth and thick one black brow

After all, “Mary” is by no means beautiful-er than you

Or smart-er

or funny-er

She is just a very very ordinary girl -a bit boring-

Who happens to have “John”, with the hippie clothes and infectious laugh

as a boyfriend

Is there no justice in the world?

you wonder, drinking more red wine.

perhaps I am imagining all these things

As the red wine swirls in my brain

And watch you look at “John”

And “Adam”, sitting across from you,  looking at you look  at “John”

perhaps it is all my bored imagination

friends are boring.

we need to imagine a more interesting life for them, on Saturday nights.



  1. felt was watching a film.

  2. Pingback: ETHICAL BLOGGING « Thenewcomer's Weblog

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