The grey Chinese silk tunic which I wear with grey leggings- makes me look like a grey seal with red lipstick and black curls.
The white knitted lace blouse which I wear layered over a coloured top- makes me look like Santa Claus, and emphasizes my size as the lace stretches across my belly, making it look twice as big.
The black-and-grey dress which my mom gave me last Christmas- very comfortable, and easy to match with other colours, but makes me look six months pregnant, if not seven.
The pale pink shirt – I love the colour, but the crisp starchy cotton stands stiffly around my shoulders and breasts, making the upper part of my body look pinkly huge.
Tight clothes make me bulge, loose clothes make me look like a baby elephant with a small head.
I know the rhetoric about feeling good in your skin blah blah blah, sorry, does not work, is a load of horse mud. All I know is, I hate my body, hate my clothes.
And a propos of nothing, I had a coffee-caramel muffin with cafe au lait for for breakfast. So tasty. And yes, my gym membership expred and no, I won’t be renewing it anytime soon.