Listen to my prayer, dear invisible men who arrange concerts in Halifax.
Last year this time, we had our Gun’n’Roses tickets clutched in our sweaty palms, to be hidden away somewhere so deep that when we actually needed the tickets, three months later, we had to call the fire brigade to help us find them. (because obviously if a burglar broke into our grotty apartment, the first thing he would look for would be GnR tickets. Obviously)
And what have we to look forward to this year?
Heart. “All i wanna do is make love to you“.
Seriously? After GnR, you bring us Heart? What is wrong with you? Heart?
Where to start? So intrinsically problematic, within themselves, (the fat faces! the big hair! horrible make-up! sacharrine lyrics!), after GnR, it simply adds insult to injury.
Look, I understand that Axl, being a cosmopolitan kind of guy, may not take kindly to another invitation to perform in Halifax (or indeed, Canada) so soon. But why Heart? So random! So not OK! Did you even try for any of the others?
Dear Halifax Concert-Arrangers,
Have you ever heard of the Rolling Stones? Aerosmith? James Hetfield? Am I banging my head against The Wall, here? Even Pink Floyd? They sing with sorrow rather than howl in anger, but still. Red Hot Fukcing Chili Peppers?
But no. You went for…Heart? Where did you get this one from? Just because someone will agree to come to Halifax doesn’t mean you have to invite them, you know. At least try! You got Axl Rose last year! See, it can be done!
Waiting eagerly for the next concert announcement, I remain, gentlemen,