I dislike the common populace. And common is defined on my own terms. I can’t discuss the details now- it is a series of personal definitions. But I have never been able to remove these people from my sphere. And why? The answer is clear, my dear, how do you think I form relations with the opposite sex? In the social groups and classes which are suitable for me? No, of course not, rather in the streets. And what can be found in the streets? The common populace.
Whenever a new person crosses paths with me, I pose a set of questions, delicately woven in the very sentences of our conversation. Then I judge the answers. Soon I realize this is one like the others: no, she is not religious but accepts god and the imams; no, she is not aware of our history or any current events of any society other than her own; she believes that everything is determined from above; she has no notions of serious music; she knows nothing of books and literature; she has no ambition or clear aim in life…
OK, now the path is clear, and I become a person other than myself. In the car, I put on music which these people call “happy” and “gay”, which they like. I don’t speak of anything which is important to me or close to my heart. I just lay down the ground rules: this is not a serious relationship and will not lead to anything; you do not call me at work, during work hours, and I will not call you.
Such a relationship has only one function for me: water on the fire of seksual needs. If she is tolerable, I tolerate her until the fire is quenched, and then, she complains, she becomes tired, and with a little expense, the adventure is over…
Four years ago, I formally gave up frostitutes. Since then, I have never, even once, had to resort to a frostitute. I thought I was noble for doing so, as I saw frostitution as a sort of perversion. But now, I think perhaps my way is just a continuation of that, in a different form, but still a perversion.”
From the farsi blog “zadsarv.wordpress.com”, translated and reproduced by permission of the author.
Please note that by translating and uploading this piece, I am not necessarily approving of the author’s methods for “quenching the fire”, and I think it is very problematic- as even the author acknowledges at the end. I just thought it was an honest, non-hypocrtical account of a young man’s ruminations on a taboo subject in Iran, and as such, I appreciated it.