PESTICIDE FOR CUDDLE-BUGS

…from the MSN feature “How to Stay Healthy blah blah blah”

“Weave more small touches into conversations with your spouse, family, and friends–it’s another way to show loved ones how much they mean to you. Squeeze your spouse’s hand when you’re riding an elevator together, or rub your daughter’s back when you chat about her day. We’re cuddle bugs by nature–our endocrine systems release a cascade of positive pleasure chemicals when we receive a caring touch, making us feel more connected and content and less anxious. (One study found that waitresses who touched their customers even earned bigger tips.) “

Obviously there is something wrong with my endocrine system, because I hate hate hate casual touches like the ones described above, and I remember being like that since I was in middle school. Not only do I absolutely loathe couples who squeeze hands in the elevator (quick! quick! bring me the sick-bag), but if my husband tried to squeeze my hand on the elevator, I’d think he was in the first pangs of a heart attack. No way am I going to rub the princess’s back when she’s telling me about school- there is a time and place for everything. OF COURSE the waitress who touched (I bet mostly male, who generally pay the bill) their clients would get tipped more- however, to waitresses everywhere, be warned: if you touch me while I am paying the bill, well, I might just manage to not to shriek and leap back, knocking over all the dirty dishes, but you most definitely will get The Look of Death- never mind a big tip.

Honestly, what is this cuddly touchy thing going on? Are we stuffed toys, or are we humans? I don’t care if I live five years longer. Please respect me and my personal space, and don’t you dare fukcing touch me, casually or not, in conversations or not. Whoever you are.

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4 comments

  1. FoXy

    :))) I know what you mean, that MSN thing did sound stupid and desperate and even a little pervert.

    But I myself sometimes like to touch ppl’s arms while talking to them -of course if they’re pretty or handsome or miserable- 😀

  2. thenewcomer

    well, to be honest sometimes I touch other women only, if I know them well and I am comfortable with them, and they are talking to someone else and I need to get their attention because I’m in a hurry because I have to run and get the kids from school/babysitter. I tap on their shoulder or arm.

    First time i saw my boss after my defence, she opened her arms to me to hug me and say congrat… i just stood still and stared at her for a moment before I realised she wanted to hug me.

    we were propbably touch-starved in childhood 😉

  3. I can agree on at least one thing with you, I don’t like people gesturing like lovers in public holding each others hands or rubbing each other, I have always been ashamed of this situation , of course I don’t have a touch phobia like you, yours sounds a little freakish 🙂

  4. FoXy

    your poor boss :)))))))

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