FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH

My howl of anger and frustration towards the sky, as I learnt that our voyage to Tehran will coincide with the holy month, the month of love and of mysticism, of spirituality and of… oh excuse me while I vomit.  

Words cannot convey the horror to those who have no experience of living under State-imposed theocracy, the horror of the holy month for non-religiouf people.

The media cranks up the sanctity and piety a thousand-fold, with verses and holy anecdotes and sermons and tv series showing happy families breaking their fast blaring out non-stop. Drinking and eating in the public is strictly forbidden. Restaurants are closed during the daytime. (I said it was horrible). The traffic jams during sunset and twilight reach epic proportions.

Meanwhile, gluttony and food consumption during the dark becomes almost baccanalian, minus the grape-drink, of course. During the day, people talk obssessively about what they had for the early morning meal, and what their mothers are preparing for the early evening break-fast.

Some of my memories of the holy month:

Gobbling down smuggled candy in the girls’ toilets at school…fat family friends of my mother arriving extremely late for the evening meal party, exclaiming jovially that they sleep all day and eat all night…my mother, pale and faint from fasting, insisting that she is alright and will people stop bothering her…a young girl of nine or ten reaching out at a family gathering for the evening meal, and slapping her mother across the face, shrieking at her to leave her alone…my father, cursing and swearing…buying contraband stinky potato salad and fake ham from the store across the unversity with fellow students, and eating in the girls study room…offering food to a fellow-student at a party in Halifax, having him remind me that is “the month” and that “muflims” are fasting, oh sorry I came here to forget…

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13 comments

  1. teng

    Maybe, just maybe, this coincidence is a sign?
    Its the month of forgiveness, and god himself has given you a ticket with no cancellation options…
    You never know how these things work
    😉

  2. teng

    and BTW, the traffic at twilight isnt that bad. I remember many even dont wake up for the “early breakfast”. Of course, these were the types that start eating after sunset and only stop munching after the midnight when their jaws are too tired to move anymore…

  3. thenewcomer

    I have a funny feeling
    there’s something wrong today…

  4. I am an old constant follower of ur blog. do not want to pass any judgment but my impression of these types of “aggressive” posts that you publish from time to time is, that you are extremely angry at some of your “traditionally muslim / momen” relatives, in particular your mother! I feel these passages are more related to your personal life, rather than complaint against islamic rules in general and what is practiced in Iran in particular.

    each word in this text could be easily read as an f word! wooooo, why so much rage?! not like your other posts
    😦

  5. you know what bothers me the most about this month of chaos? , the impression of satisfaction and glory in some muflims faces, with hideous smells of their hungry abdomins they believe they are doing so good and they are the first line to walk in to heaven and they feel pity for us.
    i have two female employees in my office, highly educated and really adorable, they fast as the holy month begins and they quit fasting as it gets hard for them and that takes about a week, i cant understand them, these contradictions bothers me.
    and as a symbol of objection eating during the day “RUZE KHARY” becomes a priority for me and i am bound to it like a ritual ceremony.

  6. FoXy

    Oh and you found Sigmund Freud through this holy post of yours: Shazade khanum Sayyyyyarak!
    She’s right! Ramadan is a great lovely adorable peaceful month! Anyone who says the opposite has some serious mental issues with their mothers! Wow! What a psychological deep point! I’m impressed!

  7. thenewcomer

    To Planet princess: Actually I am not angry at the traditionally muflim types, as they do not really bug me, apart from general dismay at the lack of critical thought. It is the new “roshan-fekr” intellectual muflim type that makes me angry. And no, you are wrong: I extremely loathe islamic rules in general, especially the parts which give priority to the men in taking custody of the children. (and I don’t like the stuff about stoning, wife-beating, polygamy either)

    To zadsarv: RUZEKHARY is a great principle for many. I know a guy who used to break his fast with alcohol, for the hell of it…

  8. You are not the only one who extremely loathe islamic rules these days. That was a just the impression one of your constant readers had…

    By the way, I hate to pass a message to someone else in the third person blog but this is not the first time that your sister “FoXy” behaves like this! Yes, she is very easily detectable by the way she expresses herself! I follow you and your brother posts, do not care at all what you think or write, I just like reading different text from different people! that’s it! and from time to time I leave a comment for them! that’s it! never claimed to be Freud, or Shakespeare (refer to my comment to one of ur bro’s post), or Ayatollah somebody (another similar occasion)! that’s it!

    No matter what is in your and your brother’s mind or in my mind, I can still communicate with you, and I do, cos it is “your” blog and that is your bro’s blog. If I wanted to communicate with your sister, I would follow “Salad-e Kharchang” (rahmatollah alaih!)

    You know, I always laugh at her comments, it is as if: sare koocheh vastade yek kaf gorgi bekhaboone too soorate har kasi ke chap negah kone be khahar o baradaresh 🙂

    I hope you do not delete this comment… well, of course you can if you want, this is your blog

    I follow you as always…

  9. Yes, I hate all those rules that you named, plus so many others. but fasting and holy month? personally I do not have problem with it. I did not have problem with fasting in Iran let alone ouside Iran; Actually, I left Iran to enjoy “moosa be dine khod, eesa be dine khod” attitude and I really do 🙂 no matter it is people like me with no problem with holy month or people who hates it…

    But more importantly I also extremely loathe “roshan-fekr” intellectual muslims. They were those who facilitated whatever we are observing there today. I could never understand how some people lived and studied in western countries came with those “brilliant” islamic doctrine!

  10. thenewcomer

    FoXy, mibinam ke harif-e khodet ro peida kardi ;))

    baba joon, kollan seh nafar hastan roo in blog comment mizaran, hala to hamin seh-ta ro ham ba in ammeh-bazi-hayat betarsoon 😉

  11. FoXy

    Shahzadeh khanum u should study statistics, you’re soooo gooood at it! Amargiiiire khanevadehaye blog nevis, n believe me the title “amargir” suits u much better than “shahzadeh khanoooooom”; just a thought! 😉

  12. hey baby , you are so cute 🙂 really… don’t worry about my title, it is the best title in the world that suits me perfectly 🙂
    just for your info sweetie ankle-biter, my skill is much much higher than what you assume to be “amargir”; you like to know it? why should I tell you, cos you won’t digest it , you are still at amargiri level 🙂
    By the way, one does not need to be an amargir to see who is who in weblogestan, nor to be Einstein… if you are always too grumpy to see the links and you stick to “conspiracy theory” as soon as you face something you can not work out… well , this is your problem!

    be mosht zadan edameh bede va be tavahhome tote o amargiri, jalebe tooye hichkodoom az tondtarin va shadidollahntarin post haye zed mazhabe o dolat o harchie mohandese o newcomer ham in hame bad akhlaghi o fobia o tavahhome amargiri in chizha ro nadidam! eib nadare, ye rooz to ham bozorg mishi 🙂

    Terribly sorry newcomer, this is your blog, but as I said this is not her first time responding to me on somebody else’s blog like that. Something is clear, if I wanted to follow her thoughts, I would follow Salade Kharchang, I don’t, so this is my last communication with her on your blog.

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