You would think I am not in any position to judge anybody’s chosen lifestyle’s arrangments. Having drifted into a rather unconventional mode of family living myself, and having listened to a barrage of talk in this regard, you would think I would be most careful of all, that when confronted with somebody else’s “alternative” lifestyle, I would keep my (mental) mouth closed  and not screech “But think of the children! but what are you doing! how can you! The poor children!” blah blah blah, vomit vomit vomit vomit.

Nevertheless, so happy we are to judge and think uncharitable thoughts about our neighbours, that it seems I too am infected by this bug. And whenever I see this particular pair of siblings, of the exact same age as my golden boy and princess, capering about, my heart twitches, I open my mouth, empty my brain and screech, silently, to the absent mother: “But what are you thinking?  How can you leave these two? What does that whey-faced boyfriend do for you that he is worth leaving behind these two?”

Whenever I see these two kids, growing up with their father and only occasionally seeing their young mom, who lives with her boyfriend, I find myself  bewildered and boggled. How could she, how can she be content to leave behind these two? What does she have to look forward to? How can she face herself? How can she face them, as they grow up?

Based on the fact that the father is taking of the kids (and very good care, as it appears), I can guess that he is not a horrendously abusive, violent, irresponsible man- anything which would somehow “justify” the mother’s abandonment. It seems clear that it is her personal preference to remove herself from the children and their father, and set up another establishment. And here is where my internal logic breaksdown, where I find myself staring in horror at the two little angel-faced kids, friends of my own, and think how can your mother go to bed each night, knowing you are not with her? How is it that she is not dying of despair and sadness? How can someone voluntarily remove themselves from their kids? And how are you two going to feel, knowing she has made that choice?

Enough feel-good interference. Just as a kind God has surrounded Iran by Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq, so we may feel superior and grateful to our own country, so I too have these neighbours, to make me fee superior and grateful for my life.



  1. teng

    haha, the guy that is always carrying a 12 pack beer box! Even I, having seen him twice on the elevator feel sorry for their situation!

    • thenewcomer

      ha- I see that even in the warm arms of your family (aghoush-e garm-e khanevadeh) you are following blog-news.

      we went to the kids’ b-day yesterday. sob sob sob.

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