The highlight of the day. The moment we all plan for, wait for, discuss, compare, and plan around. The moment which if lost or interrupted, puts us in a foul headachy mood for the rest of the day.
As a professional office worker who has spent most of my waking productive hours in one office or other since I was twenty-two, I have had the pleasure of participating in and partaking of a variety of office lunches: solitary rendez-vous with disgusting leftovers which were probably carcinogenic in front of my computer, breath-takingly expensive orders from local Asian restaurants, non-stop Tim Hortons soup last year when I was working as a temp, wedding-style, elaborately planned feasts of chelo-kebab for some special occasion at my old office back home etc etc etc.
But these days, I’ve feel I’ve cracked the secret of the perfect office lunch. Not nutritious, let me hasten to add, but cheap and delicious, and guaranteed to brighten any dull office day. It involves instant noodles and tostitos dips, both of which come in a variety flavours, so you have a wide range of combinations to mess around with. I have arrived at this method below after a long series of trial and error, so treat it as words of wisdom.
HOW TO PREPARE A WONDERFUL CHEAP OFFICE LUNCH:
Fill a soup dish with water from the office water cooler, and put to boil in the office microwave. (2 min)
Add the soup-mix powder from the noodle package to the hot water, and stir carefully.
Break up the noodles (not too small, but remember other colleagues will probably see you eating so you don’t want too much slurping around) and add to the water-powder mix, return to the microwave and press the button which says “FOOD PLATE”.
Halfway through (after 2 mins, approx.), stop the heating, carefully bring the dish out, and stir, so all the noodles get soaked in the water. Add two or three big spoonfuls of tostito dip on the plate, but do not mix. My current favourite is bean and cheese dip, but creamy spinach and spring onion is another good one. Return to the microwave and resume heating.
When you hear the microwave beeping, do NOT rush to get your plate. It will be too hot. Instead, continue browsing the internet, checking your non-work e-mails, chatting, or whatever it is you do during the lunch hour (I bet it is not actual work) for another five minutes or so. Then go and get your plate, and carry back to your desk.
Eat. Have napkins ready. Enjoy.