HEALTH AND BEAUTY TIPS I NEVER FOLLOW

I will now turn to the Weberian concept of instrumental rationality as a model for state-sponsored refugee aid…

No!

In fact, I propose to do something much more pleasant: list all the tips I regularly come across in magazines, blogs, websites etc, which I can never ever follow:

1- Re-apply sunscreen every two hours, or 20min before going out.

I use a moisturizer with SPF in the mornings before I go out, and then face-powder with SPF over that. After that I am genetically unable to reapply more products throughout the day, on skin which is gradually accumulating  dirt and dust. I exit the office at 4 pm with a sunscreen-free face. Oh well. My apartment is only five minutes from the office.

2-Apply sunscreen to my hands.

I used to, sometimes. Then the golden boy lost a tube of sunscreen. Have not bothered ever since.

3-Regularly groom and wax eyebrows.

Yes, I know all the blah blah about eyebrows framing the face, sorry, but weeks go by before I step into a salon for a proper grooming. These days I plead student budget and elusive Haligonian “esthetiticians”, but back home when I commanded a full-time salary I was just as lazy. Secretly, I think my eyebrows look rather nice like they are, au naturel, and not like everybody else’s. Like two friendly fuzzy caterpillars.

4-Eat 5 (or is it 8?) portions of fruits and vegetables daily.

I cannot count food. Some days I’ll have a lot of fruit, some times not. Some days we have fresh greens and I’ll make and devour a huge bowl of salad, other days not. Some days I’ll take an apple with me, some days not. I’m not some sort of milking cow or Olympic athlete who needs every portion monitored and measured.

5-Glossy lips.

Sorry, no can do. I HATE the feel of gloopy lip-gloss on my lips and I don’t like the look of shiny wet lips either. What is so seksy about snaily slimy lips? What’s wrong with a neat little red or pink Cupid’s bow?

6- Not wearing sparkly or blue eye-shadow during the day.

Honestly, who makes up these rules? I love multi-coloured eye-shadows, the sparklier the better. And having two children, I don`t get to go out at night that often, so I must wear them during the day. Vive turquoise!

7-Curling eyelashes with lash-curler before applying mascara

This one will not just frighten the children, it also scares me. I just cannot bring myself to grip one of these fearsome-looking contraptions, open its curved mouth, stick it over my eyelashes, and then press down as hard as I can. I’m afraid I will rip off my eyelid or tear out my eyelashes or something.

I’m sure there are more- but these are all my word-fuddled brain can think of right now.

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6 comments

  1. Well I reassure you this was much more interesting than refugees. I guess lip gloss is for our generation I c most women that are above 24-25 (to 65) now, hate wearing lipgloss. But our generation n younger kids, well we can’t live without lip gloss. It just makes u look gorgoeus n seksy (if u r already good-looking i mean, n if it’s the right color n suits your eye-make-up) I remember you n I had this conversation about wearing lipgloss… Good old days… anyhow, about blue i shadow I must say under no circumstances would I wear blue eye shadow, it’s so Dahati in my opinion, I prefer purple or grey (without sparks) for dark, smoky eyes n white or violet or silver for morning.

  2. thenewcomer

    Door az joooon, door az joon-e shoma, some time ago I was reading an online debate about how American female newsreaders were made-up to look like well-known porn stars. There were some photos of the faces, and honestly they looked similar! One of the main differences however were the lips- the porn stars had super-shiny, nude-coloured lips, while the newsreaders wore ordinary-looking red and pink lipstick. For my part- I honestly cant see why shiny lips=seks, to me it just looks like you’ve failed to wipe your lips properly after eating ghormeh sabzi. And it feels the same, too.

  3. thenewcomer

    BTW- I notice you didn’t comment on my fuzzy caterpillars, another favourite topic of debate in the “good” (not really!) old days.

  4. teng

    why does goli change her name so much?
    I was actually reading her comment when i realized its her, and i stopped of course
    🙂

  5. thenewcomer

    bichareh gol!

    She’s just doing her best to make my blog look popular with lots of comments from different people! Poor me, noone comments on my blog like they do yours and Gol [sob sob sob]

  6. Well it goes without saying that neat, done eye brows look much much better than caterpillars! 😀

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