I saw the ad for this Lancome contraption in Vogue, and it fills me with horrid fascination.  

There is a button on the mascara wand. You press it, and the wand starts vibrating, copying the zig-zag moves that professional make-up artists use. (Not the shaky irregular nervous little pokes that you make.)  

Then, and this is the horrid fascination part, you are supposed to take this perfectly vibrating mascara wand, and put it in your eyes.

Well, that is what it look like to the crowd of enthusuatic on-lookers  (my children) who closely follow my morning make-up routine. “Oh no- Mummy- are you putting a pencil in your eye? Why? Does it hurt?” And when I actually try to put some mascara on the comments become so shrill (“Mummy! You are poking a black dirty stick in your eye!”) that I have  actually stopped using mascara (I know! Just imagine!) , and prefer to play around with soft eye-shadow brushes.

So I can just imagine the uproar that would ensue if I actually started to use a vibrating mascara, with a button and batteries.

“Be pretty and die.” That is what Iranian women say. However, as far as children are concerned it would be more like “be pretty and blind yourself” for the vibrating-mascara users.



  1. reader

    thank god you reading Vogue and have stopped writing endless posts about how you feel about Iran… keep up wth Vogue.

  2. red_23

    ALL ADS for Mascara are FAKE!!!! Be warned!!!! ALL the models use fake lashes and are photoshoped to look like they have huge long lashes!

    and i agree, a vibrating mascara seems scary to me too.

  3. ck

    with my luck my kids would crash into me and I’d stab myself in the eye. this would probably happen just minutes after my husband left for work and i’d have to spend the rest of the day in a bad mood and with one working eye. and one eye is not sufficient with you have two wild children…

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