A GIRL IN IRAN BLOGS

“I have put my head under the snow.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not cold under the snow, but deliciously cool.

It is completely white, no black, or red, or green in sight. That is very beautiful.

There are no Taliban or Basiji under the snow.

No bombs or electric batons.

There are no sounds of shots, or cries of Allahu Akbar. Only the music of Ville Valo and the sound of laughter can be heard.

Everybody is poor equally, under the snow. Oil and money have no meaning, under the snow.

Under the snow, everybody is a blasphemor, and the “scent of prayers” is not in the air.

There is no government under the snow. Everyone is free.

They do not execute homosexuals under the snow.

Everybody can flirt with each other freely, and anybody can sleep with anybody else…and no one is stoned for adultery.

There is no jealousy or family honour under the snow.

SMS is unlimted, under the snow.

Phone lines to other countries are not blocked, under the snow.

You can get a visa for Canada easily, under the snow.

Under the snow, everyone goes and visits their brother and sister in Canada for the summer. No, sorry, under the snow, our brother and sister have not gone to Canada, because there are no borders and no different countries. There is no difference between Canada, Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan.

We have lots of “Friends” under the snow. It’s fulls of Rachels, Chandlers and Phoebes. Full of Rosses and Monicas and Joeys.

MTV is as clear as a mirror, under the snow. And they play my favourite clips all the time.

Mother and Father do not age, under the snow. They are young forever.

Under the snow, your mother is in love with your father, not with Leonardo DiCaprio.

And your father in love with your mother, not beautiful newscasters.

I can sleep easily under the snow.

There is no rape under the snow.

Under the snow is full of poetry and books.

Under the snow is full of discotheques and “Book Cities”

We read Emily Dickinson and Sohrab Sepehri under the snow.

My novel is published under the snow. Even under the snow, it doesn’t sell very well, and critics hate it.

There are no phone bills under the snow, and I can chat with my gay friend for ever.

Under the snow, my gay friend’s partner is Johnny Depp. I invite them both for dinner. Amazingly, they both come and do not put me off.

Under the snow, cheating in exams is allowed, but cheating in elections is forbidden.

No depression under the snow.

No early mornings under the snow.

It is very safe, under the snow.

And I am not afraid, and I can do useful things, instead of fantasizing and hallucinating. ”

Translated from Persian, from the blog “Crab Salad”, by my sister.

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5 comments

  1. ck

    Wow.

    That was powerful.

  2. teng

    u should credited the snowgirl?!

  3. teng

    haaaaaa,

    only now i saw the original farsi version!
    but nice job.
    I didnt figure you translated it!
    i thought the poem (?) was originally in english.
    haaaaaa

  4. thenewcomer

    i realised I should have credited last night. I just added the credits.
    It sounds more like a poem in English than in farsi!

  5. Wow what an awesome translation! I’m amazed. And oh I’m so very flattered that you translated my work (although it sounds better in your translation) I feel like I’ve won a prize or something! Your translatin brought tears in my eyes, so sentimental and pure! I like it more than the original text.

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