“Red Hat”, or “kolah ghermezi” in the local vernacular, was an extremely lame, extremely unfunny, extremely annoying puppet character and the hero of his eponymous children’s TV show from the mid-nineties. The valiant people of Iran fell madly in love with this stupid creature, and his badly-made, stupid felt face with the round button eyes could be seen in posters and shows all over, while his high-pitched nasally whine, his trademark, could be heard everywhere.
But I mean, like, everywhere. For it was not enough to watch Red Hats shows and movies, wear Red Hat t-shirts, and generally behave as if Red Hat was a cross between Madonna and Michael Jackson come to entertain us. Unfortunately, with our peculiar talent for pushing things one step further than absolutely necessary, people began talking like Red Hat too, affecting that distinct nasal whine in their voice in the badly mistaken belief that it made them sound cute, loveable, hip, cool, edgy.
Gentle Reader, it did not.
Like all crazes, Red Hat faded gradually from TV screens and billboards, but his horrible legacy remains. Even today, you will find these smart, sophisticated Iranian girls their late twenties to mid thirties, all over the world, pursuing their PhDs in nuclear physics and rocket science and gender studies and business management, knowledgable on sex and the city and not afraid to show it, wearing smart fancy fashionable clothes with lots of dark smart make-up as only Iranian girls know how. They open their mouths to utter their smart sophisticated utterances, and holy cow, that awful nasally whine comes out, putting Red Hat right there on the table, making them sound about as smart and sophisticated as a dumb five year-old. And the sad part is, they don’t even know they are doing it. They were so young when they were afflicted with the Red Hat sickness that they don’t even know they have it. And they look so smart and chic and as if they know everything about everything under the sun, that no one has the heart to tell them.
I don’t want to be rude here but you are so wrong!
About what?
You’re so dumb, I don’t even know how to argue. I mean girl, your stupidity has no limits.
And you are so smart, O pesar-khaleh with a small penis. Your words are stuffed full of intelligence and enlightenment. O please continue to instruct me some more, tell me what is wrong with my post, please. I cannot get enough of your blindingly intelligent remarks and your exceptionally astute analysis of my blog post. Please.
But Sallar your comment is filled with wisdom and intelligence, unlike this blog post. Also your glasses and orange beard are so sexy. Thank goodness for intelligent sexy people like you.
Oh now the fans of Kolah Ghermezi who are surprisingly enough not just infants, but adults (!) will get so mad. Scary.
Actually the number of views this post is receiving IS a bit scary- and creepy. I had no idea kolah ghermezi was such a hot issue.
That’s because I tweeted this. Actually Kolah Ghermezi is not the issue here. I tried to comment like that so you understand how is it like talking like yourself. Your argument is entirely invalid. Criticizing Kolah Ghermezi is one thing, calling everybody who likes or loves him stupid is another. The joke is on you here. Everyone started laughing at you after I tweeted your nonsense just like I laughed when I read it. You have all the rights in the world to hate something, but you are in no position to call everybody stupid, because really, the stupid one here is just you.
It’s not mentioned in the post that everybody who watches/ likes Kolah Ghermezi is stupid. Maybe you should read it carefully and understand it then comment on it and pick up a fight.
And also, I don’t give a shit about Kolah Ghermezi. I don’t like him or his cartoons and movies. But this is just the issue of disrespecting people who like something. Many people find you and your blog stupid, but this doesn’t give them the permission to write a blog post about it and insult you.
You stupid bastard, I called the people who TALK like Kolah Ghermezi stupid. Despite your intelligence and exceptional brain power, you somehow didn’t pick up the central point of my post. Where did I call “everybody” stupid? But yes, for the record, I think any adult who liked and enjoyed and talks like Kolah Ghermezi to be very, very stupid. I am sorry for you if you that includes your mother and father.
Of course. Anybody has the right to write a blog post and insult me. I live in a free country- what are you gonna do- send me to Evin for insulting kolah ghermezi and his STUPID fans?? And I will insult them right back. Go for it. What are you waiting for? I’m sorry, this is not kelas- aval where we have to be respectful to our moalem and modeer and the imams and the nabi. I can tell you to go fuck yourself and take kolah ghermezi with you, and the only thing you can do is say the same to me. That’s all. Get used to it.
wow wow. why so hateful? You are the first person I know that hates K.G. Not all the jokes are for everyone. I assume you don’t get the jokes thus you hate it, maybe because its jokes are somehow related to old days situations in Iran that you don’t recall.
P.S :what’s your issue with “smart, sophisticated Iranian girls their late twenties to mid thirties ….” (regardless of how they speak) anyways? (not in this post only)
be to che? I have the right to hate kolah ghermezi if I like. What’s it to you?
As for Iranian girls- I love them. I am one myself. That is why I can laugh at them easily.
be man che? I’m not the one writing in my blog so others can response to my posts. that was just a response. you have every right to hate whoever you want. but why? did you watch the Norouz episodes by the way?
چقدر چرت و پرت می نویسی
حیف وقتی که اینجا گذروندم
چقدم اغراق کردی
دیگه اینطوریام نبود
من که خودم نه حتی یه بار تماشاش کردم، نه یه بار شبیهش حرف زدم نه…. دیگه شورش نکن
انقدم مزخرف نباف