Last week was a party for forn stars and frostitutes on cyberspace. First, I read about Dr. Brooke Magnanti, a PhD student in computer science living in London, worked for years as a frostitute to supplement her student income, and blogged about her seks-life, in a very successful and highly-read blog. Then, I hear than a famous American forn star has changed her name, stopped being a forn-star, and now has a book deal and generally received a lot of publicity about her memoirs, experiences etc etc. She too is blogging (under her new name)- her mum and dad read her blog and are so proud of her…
Their revelations has caused a fair amount of controversy, which does not really interest me- though the statement made in relation to the PhD student-frostitute made me laugh and firmed my resolve never to apply for PhD: ‘I did not know any girl who was not a PhD student at the brofel’. What is fascinating for me is the overwhelmingly positive feedback these ladies are receiving from their society, as evidenced by their book deals, the comments on their blogs, their TV appearances, their media interviews. They are not ashamed of their lives, they are proud of what they did, their mums and dads love them, they’re wonderful, independent, brilliant, strong, blah blah blah.
How different, how absolutely different from Iran.
Other Iranian bloggers have noted how, if a woman gets recorded having seks in a Western country, she shoots to popularity and fame (who had ever heard of Paris Hilton before her boyfriend did her a favour and put the recording he had made of their union on the internet?), but if the same happens in Iran, the woman has to flee, she is prosecuted, she is persecuted, she is rejected from society, she becomes a worthless piece of filth.
The point I am trying to make here is that it is not just the Iranian regime who hate women who have seks outside marriage. Iranian society as a whole has a problem with -let’s call them unconventional women. And basically, any woman who has a boyfriend is an unconventional woman. And she must hide her life from her family.
It doesn’t matter how well-educated or liberal a family is, how many years they have spent in European and American universities studying nuclear physics and neurosurgery, how much alcohol they consume at their elegant in-house secretive parties. Their daughters simply don’t have seks. That guy she’s talking with, holding hands with, laughing with- that guy over there? Oh- he is just a family friend, they plan on getting married, he is her university classmate. Our daughters don’t know what seks is if it came and hit them in the forehead.
You want their technology. You want their freedoms. You want their movies and their books. You want their science.
Can you cope with your girls talking about being frostitutes and form-stars? Will you be proud of them? Will you listen to their interviews, read their books and blogs, treat them with respect? It’s all part and parcel of the same package deal, you know.