-Oh – you’re from Iran. Sorry, this is off-topic here, but can I ask you what life is like for a woman in Iran?
I must have heard this question in various situations (interviewing for a job as office admin, on the phone asking about college places, borrowing a book from the library) several times, and judging from the vivid interest I see other women (never men) display in the life of their ”sisters” in Iran, I believe I will hear it again and again.
What has the media done- what are they doing? They ONLY thing some people know about women in Iran (and not dumb ignoramuses) is “Not Without My Daughter”- come on- all you Iranian writers, filmpeople, mediapeople- shame on you all! Why hasn’t somebody written an answer to that book? Why doesn’t somebody show the other citizens of the world that being a woman in Iran is not just about “Not Without My Daughter”? And come on, you Iranian intellectuals, liberals, you hypocrites, you who like to claim the West is dying of AIDS after colonizing the world, why don’t you admit “Not Without My Daughter” contains a TRUE premise? And admit it to yourselves and the West? Instead of going on about our cultural traditions and the place of women in Zoroaster and Islam, and how the West degrades women by using them in soap ads.
Yes, it is true, I told the kind-eyed lady who was testing my Word and MS Office skills, in Iran the father and his family have full guardianship rights over children. If he dies, his f*** brother (and his wife!!!!) will have more control over my children’s future, education, place of living, decision to marry, than I would! No, it is not true that women cannot work or go to university. They do work and study. But yes, they have to cover their hair at all times in public places. No- not the faces (do you think we are Arabs!)- just the hair. I don’t know why -it’s just the law. No- if you don’t believe in the religious edict then you do NOT get used to it, even if you are doing it for every single day of your life. Yes, Arabic is different from Farsi. Yes (I swear!) Iraq is different from Iran- being an Iranian does not mean that I know Arabic. I would say Farsi and Arabic are roughly similar- in the sense that French and English are similar. Knowing one does not mean you automatically understand the other. Which is a pity, yes.
Go, Marjan Satrapi! Go! At least one person had heard of her here. Come on out of hiding, all you Iranian women bloggers! Blog in English, people want to know about you! I can’t answer for all of you! What are your daily lives like?
Honestly speaking I haven’t even heard of that book “Without My Daughter”. What’s it about really?
goli:
…like so many other books you havent heard about…
newcomer:
why dont they ask me this question?!
Ya, it kills me when they say”DO YOU SPEAK ARABIC?”, I always answer them very badly, just shouting NOOOOOO…I think they are stupid people too that trust media. At least I am sitting in front of her and she can see one civilized woman has come out of that country, so there might be more…
I remember that there was also the movie of that book…
To TENG: You are not a women. Women are more interesting than men. You are just a potential Arab terrorist
To ss: It is about a western (american?) mother whose marries an Iranian man, comes to Iran, and is treated like hell by her in-laws, and has a hellish time trying to get out of Iran with her daughter. It is supposed to be based on a true-life story. It was made into a film. It received a lot of attention. Intellectual Iranians like to say it was a Zionist conspiracy. (like everything else)
Hmmm…. Typical!
A friend from Iran who is too shy to leave a comment sent me an e-mail reminding me that the children are with the paternal grandfather, and his father, in case of death of father, and the paternal uncle does not get the children in preference of the mother. Let me remind my friend, that if I am not mistaken, this is so long as the mother DOES NOT remarry- if she does, then she has very slim chances of being awarded her children if the paternal family (including uncle) choose to make a fuss about it. Another point is that the finances of the father (and the children while they are minor) rest with the paternal family, NOT the mother, who only gets an inheritance on the belongings- and not the property. I know of a case where the widow had to go and fight with her in-laws every time she had to buy a pair of shoes for her children. If the widow doesn’t have a big “mehrieh” or brideprice to get from her in-laws upon the death of her husband, then she has no future financial stability from their part. And my last point is: even the paternal grandfather can be bad enough.
And the overall point:the law is on the side of the men. Death of the husband might be the best scenario for many women, who cannot go through divorce.
Actually- the comments of a trained lawyer would be welcome here too….